Letters to the future. What will we do differently when we have a second child?

The age of a tree is calculated by the rings on the slice, and the wisdom of parents is calculated by the number of children," said one of the classics. But it's true: nothing teaches effective care and upbringing of a child like ...first child)

With the firstborn, we get bumps (sometimes literally) and experience the great art of being parents.  With the second one, everything is different… Oh, where was all this knowledge five years ago???

We have collected five stories of parents who already know how it is necessary and how it is different)  So to speak, let's take the chance to learn from someone else's experience, saving our own nerves and time...

“We need to arrange an early acquaintance,” Nikolai Ivanovich, Sofia's father

My father was a professional driver - I practically grew up in his Volga. By the way, to this day I remember how I wanted to do it - to grow up - so that I could look out the car window normally, like adults...

That's why I immediately asked my wife or someone else to pick up our Sophia when we got into the car. That's how we rode (and, by the way, we ride a lot). At some point, we realized that it was problematic to do without a car seat: a new law came into force in the country, and after studying the issue ourselves, we were convinced of their necessity.

The problems came out of nowhere: Sofia flatly refused to get into the brand-new beige car seat. Neither the beloved unicorns on the paneling, nor persuasion, nor, of course, helped.threats...

In the end, we gave up, and our mother worked as a car seat for two more years. So far, the grown-up and wiser daughter has agreed to sit in it. However, it cost us a Kinder after each trip. 

And all because, as the brother-in-law, a child psychologist, explained to us, it is often very difficult for children to change a soft mother to a soulless “gray-haired woman.” It takes a long time to get used to it. They're acting up, of course.

But if the child had been introduced to the chair earlier, then most likely there would have been no problems. 

How to do it? Buy a chair “from scratch"! In this case, you can transport the baby both lying down - while he is not sitting yet, and sitting - when he grows up. 

If we take such an option as Asteroid from Carrello, then the issue with the car seat is closed up to the age of 12 - the chair is ideal for “growth" due to the adjustable headrest and backrest position. 

“We only go to visit with Tishka,” Elizaveta, Ilya's mother

My Ilya has always been a special child. It was just awful how much he got attached to things. But only to your own - toys, furniture, even clothes. He endowed them with wonderful properties, played with abandon, invented names.

His clothes rack was called Lucy. The toothbrush is a buzz. Drawing board - Kalyaka… He had been friends with the crib for a particularly long time and selflessly. She was named Kuzya for some reason, and she really didn't like it when our cat Murzik slept on her. And yet - Ilya was absolutely sure of this - I flew with him at night)))

Therefore, every night out turned into torture and suffering for our Ilya. And how is my Kuzya? Will Lucy look after her? What if she flies and doesn't come back?...
 
In short, we were not very willing to visit, and we certainly did not plan long-distance trips with hotel stays...

And then in the store we saw a playpen with a funny green face on its side. It would seem: well, a place for playing and storing toys, what more?... But no: there was an interesting additional option: a sleeping place.

And then we realized who could have been filling in for Kuzya outside the house all this time! Store your favorite toys. To be a permanent place for games...

Eh… We bought this playpen after all. Yes, Ilya is already too old to sleep in it.… But I did make friends with Tishka))

I trusted him with my favorite toys. I used to sit there a lot. And once I accidentally fell asleep right in the arena...

In short, since then, Tishka and I have not parted. Now my son is five years old, but we still don't go to my grandmother's without a playpen)) And the thing is really wonderful: it folds compactly, is conveniently transported from place to place, lightweight, reliable and practical.

Ilya and I have already decided: we will make friends with Tishka and Lisa, who is due in three months. Tishka has a place for swaddling and a side entrance. Lisa will definitely like it!

Oh, I almost forgot! What is our friend's passport name? Meet Molto from the Carrello family. Nicknamed Tishka)))

“Mom appreciated my triumph in the Hunger Games,“ Yuri, Vasya's dad

For the first time, when my wife left me with the baby... Nooo, there will be no stories about me crying in the corner, not knowing where the vests and diapers are)). Something else happened: he didn't want to eat. Sitting on the couch, my Vasily threw a fit of hysteria: he flatly refused delicious oatmeal with raspberries, kicked and even got porridge into the chandelier once. I am generally silent about the condition of the sofa((

Yes, I've seen our mother feed Vasya many times: she puts him on her lap, holds him with one hand, manages to distract him with a fluffy elephant, deftly puts a spoon in her mouth with the other, saying something fascinating or singing songs from her favorite cartoons.

I've always disliked this kind of balancing act. With all the severity of a man, I kept saying: there's nothing to spoil the boy, he'll get hungry - and so he'll eat! “Be patient, I'll give you a chance, you can try it yourself,” my wife laughed...

Oh, how I understood and felt her giggles on that ill-fated “father's” day, washing the sofa from oatmeal ((And after washing, I firmly decided not to give up and look for a way out. Is this really the only way to feed a moody child?

..In two weeks, the operation “Feed Vasily" was carefully planned. “Len, don't you want to go shopping? And I'll feed Vasya myself. Cheslovo - let's keep the sofa clean!”. When the door was closed, he took out the large box he had received the day before from the pantry. He laid out the base, attached the seat, snapped the table top fasteners - a high chair Triumph - aka a chaise longue, aka a swing - shouted with all his appearance: Vasya, let's be friends!

And Vasya still didn't mind! Scattering the rattles on the tabletop, listening to the familiar melodies from the speaker built into the high chair, the guy didn't even seem to notice how spoonful after spoonful of porridge disappeared into his mouth. Well-fed, contented and lulled by the motion sickness regime, the son was sleeping soundly in his new “throne” within half an hour.

Mom, who came soon after, just said, “Well done! Now I know who will feed our second child!..”

“And my back said, “hooray!Svetlana, Nadia's mother

I was a fan of tactility. Physical contact is priceless. Hugs, handshakes, and touches are an interchange of emotions, energy, and human warmth," I said... Can you imagine how I was waiting for my first child?! 

When Nadyusha was born, I just bathed in her arms, did not let go of her hands, touched her, taught her to grab the first toys, roll over and sit. Yes, it was hard, but I understood: mom is responsibility and sacrifice...

And then we started learning how to walk. This “course" took us three long months - Nadia studied very thoroughly, but slowly. At first I held her by the arms, then by the palms. Malaya just enjoyed the process and constantly demanded to “continue the banquet”, walking around the house with me for hours. But my back ached and my arms were falling off. Really, I was incredibly tired, because all the training was solely my responsibility, my daughter did not recognize her father and grandmother. 

“Take a walker!” Mom was saying. But I didn't want to. After all, tactility, contact, emotions… But there were fewer and fewer positive emotions every day((.

I only gave up when I saw these walkers. They were great: my favorite light green color, reliable and large. And most importantly, the child could walk with them without his mother's help! The rear lintel was removed at the base, and the daughter, holding on to the back, stomped, pushing the walker in front of her like a cart.

My Nadia checked it out right away! She could pace the spacious hallway for 30-40 minutes, completely forgetting about her mother and her irreplaceable support. Oh God, how my lower back thanked me for that!
Our walkers Carrello Eterno are still with us, although Nadia hasn't used them for a year now - thanks to them, she learned to walk confidently for literally two weeks.

But we don't give them to anyone! After all, Nadia needs a brother. And his mom needs a healthy back. Which means he'll get into the walker as soon as he can. And tactility is enough for me, believe me))

“We didn't know where to put the children's car park,“ Victoria, Danila's mother

Oh, how I remember our Napoleonic plans when I was still walking with a belly… Are we going to visit? It's over! Travel? Absolutely! Are we canceling our walks in winter? How can you? 

Danya was born in autumn, and winter has never been complete without a flight to warmer climes. We decided not to change our plans and bought a light stroller.

My husband is often on the road, and I drive around the city myself, so we bought a car seat. 

Then I saw a baby carrier basket somewhere, and I thought, that's cool! - we bought her too..

And only then did the 3in1 stroller catch my eye. The frame, wheels, and three interchangeable, and actually autonomous structures - a cradle, a walking block, and a car seat. Click, and one thing turns into another. As they say, with a slight movement of the hand...

My husband scolds me for planning ahead (they say it's a bad omen), but I've already made a choice.: I will be buying a 3in1 stroller Carrello Aurora. I saw one from my sister - cool!

The cradle is spacious, with a large hood, the walking unit is rotatable, allows you to watch the baby while walking, the car seat is compact, you can carry the baby in it from birth. 
The proverbial, but in this case logical, “why pay more?!”

(And yes, by the way, I've come up with a name for our baby! Varvara. Just don't tell your husband yet, okay?)