My wife and I, having given birth to two older boys and not having much support and help from grandparents, decided to stop the process of childbearing in our noisy and active family. It was not easy to combine the last year of university, work and my wife's maternity leave. Boxing, chess, football, fishing, cycling - everything is clear, understandable and without any special problems. The main thing is to feed them well and pull them away from the computer from time to time. Therefore, as soon as the boys grew up and learned how to make tea and fry eggs for ourselves, my wife and I were relieved to plan how we would finally live for ourselves.

But still, the thought “if only we had a girl...” crept up from time to time and tickled with her imaginary pigtails with red bows. 

And when my wife sent me a picture of a two-stripe dough in messenger one morning, I immediately felt two small arms hug me and even felt the touch of that very red bow. At the same moment, I realized that this time it was definitely HER.

From the very first minute she was born, she seemed completely different to me. “A child is like a child,“ ”If it weren't for a pussy, you wouldn't say it was a girl,“ ”Bald as a kid,“ ”Screams just like the two older ones," our friends and relatives repeated in one voice, laughing, nodding at the fact that the crazy dad finally waited. He sees his happiness and now sees everything around him in pink colors and glasses.

For the first time, I realized how wrong they were when, at seven months old, bald and with two lower teeth just sticking out, we tried on her first dress when we were going to a friend's wedding. It was peach-colored, lacy, absolutely princely, and fiercely beautiful. His wife was smiling. I was hiding my tears. And Margarita, in this very dress, was sitting on the floor, looking at the delicate frills and not only did not touch them, did not try to taste this something new, she seemed to have stopped even breathing. “Because she's a girl," I kept thinking. And I was absolutely happy.

I wanted to give her some crazy gifts, buy comfortable shoes, bright hair clips for her non-existent hair, sing songs and constantly carry her in my arms. In short, I really felt like the crazy dad they used to tease me about. 

I've scoured a lot of literature, listened to hours of audio and video lectures by the smartest and most respected psychologists on how to properly raise a happy girl. Of course, everyone gave different advice, many were somewhat similar. 

But it still didn't seem enough to me. I listened to other dads' stories about their daughters. This made me even more convinced of how little we know and understand our daughters. But Dad is the first and main man in a girl's life. It is the correct perception of the father, his example, that gives the girl the opportunity in the future to learn to trust men and draw the right conclusions.

And I continued to read, study, and explore. Which, by the way, I'm still doing.

This baggage gave me the opportunity to sift through the husks and separate the grain. So, I would like to learn more about grain.

A girl should feel safe

For the first time, I felt like a father to my daughter when we were picking her up from the hospital. No, not because the envelope was pink (it was white, by the way, and I was the one who bought it). I then caught myself thinking strangely that I was not so much worried about my wife - where it would be more convenient for her to sit in the car, whether it would blow out of the window - as about my newborn daughter. And it's not because my wife suddenly moved into second place, no. She's just a grown-up girl who can take care of herself. And this little princess is completely dependent on my hands, my attention, my love.

When we chose a stroller for Margarita, my wife laughed (and was probably even a little jealous) that I had never been so demanding of small things. And that if there was an armored wheelchair with an alarm system, autopilot and airbags, then I would buy just such a thing, even for a hundred thousand million. 

And she was right. My requests were not exorbitant. The main criteria in the selection were: convenience, environmental friendliness and safety. My girl should feel exactly as comfortable in this stroller as her dad's on the handles. So after a few days of agony, we bought an Ultimo 3-in-1 stroller from Carrello. To say that Dad was pleased is an understatement. A spacious and deep cradle with a large adjustable hood - so that my girl can sleep well in any weather. Large rubber wheels, like in an SUV, are maneuverable and stable. Additional ones - a walking block and a car seat - were also on the “must have" list. After all, we are a big family with many children, we just can't do without any transformers. After all, no one has canceled trips and walks outside the city. We've been everywhere with the boys. And my girl deserves to have the same bright and interesting life.

Color matters

I want to talk about color separately. Because a girl is not just pink. For every princess, details, nuances, and pleasant little things are important, which a boy (read a man) won't even pay attention to. And for her, it can be either the greatest joy or a huge tragedy. That's why our eldest girl, my wife, chose the color of our stroller. I said ”beige" and got beige. Moreover, Carrello's is pleasant, pastel, and noble. I was only in favor.

In addition, given how girls love to dress up and change clothes five times a day, the stroller must match each of the selected bows. And if you are a pragmatic dad and consider this an excess or a trifle that can be ignored, then I must disappoint you - you are very mistaken.

Create a space for the girl to create

Do you know what Margarita's first drawing was - a smiling cloud of applesauce, artfully traced with her finger on the tabletop of the high chair. My wife sent me a photo of the masterpiece when I was at work. There was no limit to emotion. The flight ended fifteen minutes earlier than planned. Happy daddy ran to the supermarket to get a gift for his brilliant artist.

Just like I ran to buy a high chair myself a few months earlier. When my wife informed me that it was time to introduce complementary foods and that Margot was already struggling to sit on her own, I immediately imagined at least a throne for my princess. With all possible amenities.

To be honest, at first I didn't even really know what I was looking for. Our boys had a very ordinary wooden high chair, in which they had never really sat like an awl in their ass. My wife was always running around the apartment with a spoon.

Therefore, the Triumph from Carrello with a chaise longue and motion sickness function was a real discovery for me. “Well, first of all, he's beautiful...” I thought then, like a true daddy of a princess, and already then I made the decision to buy. When I found out about the removable countertop, which is convenient to wash, about the lowering backrest, which with a slight movement of my hand turns the chair into a motion sickness center with a timer, and about the possibility of connecting my favorite lullabies via usb, I immediately told the consultant to “wrap it up.”

Margarita reacted to the new product very carefully: she looked at it for a long time, tried the upholstery of the upholstered seat with her finger, and slapped the handle on the tabletop. At first, she was wary of the music, but then, when my wife and I began to sing along to the song, she smiled, showing her approval. And after lunch, I even took a nap to the same song.

Teach a girl to feel and defend personal boundaries

From month to month, from year to year, our girl was changing before our eyes. Bringing us joy every day and showing off your big and small achievements. I tried my best to support my wife so that she would not feel chronically tired, because not only the baby had to be taken care of, the two older loafers also demanded my mother's attention and pies with jam.

Until she was six months old, Margot was the perfect child, sleeping and eating every now and then. But after six, having got used to dad's “on the handle”, she began to terrorize her mother. More than once, my wife would call and ask me to come home from work early, because Genka was having a workout soon, Gleb couldn't do a physics assignment, and Margot wouldn't get off her hands.

After the fourth such “early” dad decided that something needed to be done and bought (not so much for his daughter as for his wife) a Grande playpen - spacious, comfortable and, of course, very beautiful. Everyone in the family joked that it was Dad who bought his daughter a separate living space. But her daughter took this very seriously - Margarita moved into and out of the arena exclusively by herself - on all fours through a zipper window. She dragged her favorite toys there and threw overboard the ones that we had discreetly placed in her. And we, in turn, dragged the playpen from room to room and even on long trips. It folds up elementary, put it in the trunk - and a separate living space goes with us wherever. Margot played in it and fell asleep-it was beautiful!

Besides, it was a space in which she was the most important. In which she explored her inner world and made her own decisions: to eat, play or sleep. And she even chose a pillow and dragged it there herself - her favorite, in pineapples. So the design of the room is also a matter for her small and already very skillful hands.

Happy mom is a happy daughter

When Margarita was one year old, I bought a Fortuna 2-in-1 doll stroller from Carrello. Let another happy mother grow up, right from childhood," I said then to the little girl who understood little. She beamed happily as she put her baby doll in the stroller. After all, everything in this stroller was like in a real one - even a handbag for all sorts of girly things. Margot knew that Dad always gave only the best gifts. 

Our daughter will turn seven soon. We are already planning a noisy and very bright birthday party. Colorful balloons, animators, guests, music, dancing and an absolutely gorgeous dress. Yes, she's still very small, but she's already a woman. She may not understand everything yet, but she feels it very subtly. And she will fully immerse herself in this feeling of celebration. When the world revolves around you, when all dreams come true, magic is real, and the closest people are nearby.

There will be gifts - a carriage. I'll take care of that myself, and the invited guests asked what Her Highness wanted.

All I know is that Her Highness wants Mom's care and Dad's love. There are never too many such gifts. And they are all real, genuine.

By the way, I also bought a gift for my wife on the occasion of my daughter's birthday - a home exercise bike, it will fit on our terrace. A happy, rested mother has a happy, confident daughter growing up by default. All psychologists say this with one voice. But I've seen it from my own experience.